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A Mom's Life

May 14, 2021

The Top 10 Urban Legends About Kids: Are They True?

Istock_000000815564xsmall_2 Are evil-doers really lacing kids' fake tattoos with LSD? Did a certain "Pokemon" episode actually give Japanese kids seizures? Find the answers to these and eight more urban legends (or are they true?...) on a terrific post by Amy S.F. Lutz over at Strollerderby.

With websites like Snopes and Urban Legends & Superstitions and T.V. shows like MythBusters, it's getting easier to figure out whether the stories we read about, in too-frequent crazy e-mails from certain friends and relatives, are true. (And you know you have someone in your life who just loves to send you these.)

So are Webkinz really being murdered online? I love how this blogger brought together 10 of the most-heard urban legends about kids and got to the bottom of things. Check it out.

 

May 13, 2021

High School Confidential

Istock_000005085148xsmall I thought I was the only mom on the planet who ever feels that motherhood is a lot like high school. Turns out I'm not alone.

My buddy Cynthia over at Sugar Mama says the only difference is that now you can't run to your room after school on particularly bad days. "You have to live in your own mistakes, fears, bad haircuts, every second of every day and learn to love it," she adds.

Humor definitely helps — and Sugar Mama has that in spades. And some days, you receive support from someone out of the blue that means so much. Click on the link above to hear the rest of the story.

May 06, 2021

How Many Balls Are You Juggling?

Edward M. Hallowell, M.D., author of Crazy Busy: Overstretched, Overbooked and About to Snap!, tells a wonderful story, over on his website, Crazy Busy Life, that every parent can appreciate:

"I once interviewed a professional juggler. He told me the greatest number of balls he could juggle was six. The greatest anyone had ever juggled, as far as he knew, was eleven... I asked him if he was working to get to seven balls. He told me he was not because in order to get to seven he would have to give up several hours a day for at least six months, and he didn't have time to spare to do that. 'I'm very good,' he told me. 'I put on a great show with six. No one has ever come up to me and told me they wish I had done seven. I can work many variations with six and make people's jaws drop. Six is enough. I don't need more.'

Hallowell then asks us to consider: "Are you juggling more balls than you NEED to juggle? What do you give up if you are?"

That's a tough one. I love my family. I love my job. I love volunteering at my church and my son's school. What tends to get lost in the shuffle are things like exercise, getting my hair trimmed, shaving my legs — you know, basic physical maintenance. Not good!

So this week I plan to visit the dentist, shave those hairy legs, and get on the treadmill (an actual treadmill, not the treadmill that is sometimes my life!) for some cardio work. (Maybe I'll work out during American Idol tonight. And if Jason Castro wins this thing in a few weeks, it will only be because every 11-year-old girl in America voted for him because of his eyes! My pick? David Cook.)

May 04, 2021

Sneaking Off For a Date...

It's Sunday, and Randy and I needed to run to Home Depot and other exciting spots to do some shopping that would bore Matt (age 12) to tears.

So Matt volunteered to stay home and work on homework and household chores(!) while Randy and I went to buy towel bars and toilet plungers. (Yeah, marriage doesn't get any sexier than that...)

In the middle of running errands, with my stomach growling, I spotted our favorite burger joint, In 'N Out. I didn't have to work too hard to convince Randy to stop for lunch. We had so much fun! (Especially since our usual at-home meals consist of healthy chicken, pasta, fish, chicken, pasta, fish, chicken, pasta, fish...)

Can't remember the last time the two of us had just gone out for a burger, alone, on the spur of the moment. "Don't tell Matt!" we laughed, knowing he'd be mighty jealous.

As marital secrets go, this isn't a barn-burner, I know. But Randy and I must have looked pretty funny, sneaking out of the car when we got back home and tossing our In 'N Out soda cups in the recycling bin out by the street before we entered the house.

Shhh! Don't tell Matt.

May 01, 2021

So What's YOUR Most Embarrassing Moment?

We parents have all had our foot-in-mouth-disease moments, right? But who's willing to share them with the world?

Cynthia Jenkins (AKA Sugar Mama), that's who. Over at sugarmamablog.com, Jenkins has a hoot of a post today about a particular phone call that didn't go quite as planned. Check it out. And if you're feeling brave, share your own embarrassing moments with us in Comments. (Hey, you can be anonymous! Go for it.)

April 29, 2021

"My Mommy's Having a Boob Job!"

Just not sure how to explain to your child that "Mommy's going to get breast implants"? There's one Florida plastic surgeon who'd like to help.

Michael Salzhauer, M.D., has written a new book for kids ages four to seven: My Beautiful Mommy. He describes the book as "a must-have for any mother with young children considering plastic surgery."

The cover alone makes quite a statement. There's nothing like seeing a little girl, teddy bear in hand, expressing delight over her newly transformed mommy, who now resembles a sexed-up Disney princess, complete with belly top and surrounded by magical sparkles.

Now that's something every little girl should aspire to.

As Newsweek reports: [The book] features a plastic surgeon named Dr. Michael (a musclebound superhero type) and a girl whose mother gets a tummy tuck, a nose job and breast implants. Before her surgery the mom explains that she is getting a smaller tummy: "You see, as I got older, my body stretched and I couldn't fit into my clothes anymore. Dr. Michael is going to help fix that and make me feel better." Mom comes home looking like a slightly bruised Barbie doll with demure bandages on her nose and around her waist... The book doesn't explain exactly why the mother is redoing her nose post-pregnancy. Nonetheless, Mom reassures her little girl that the new nose won't just look "different, my dear — prettier!"

What about the body issues raised here? Will our Ms. Perky Boobs' 6-year-old daughter start worrying that her nose — or stomach, or whatever — isn't good enough? Will she worry that her breasts — still years away from even making the scene — won't measure up?

Here's my alternative book suggestion: I'm Gonna Like Me — Letting Off a Little Self Esteem (HarperCollins; 2002), by Jamie Lee Curtis and Laura Cornell. It's written for ages four to eight. "Self-esteem is at the core of what is wrong with us and what is right with us," says Curtis. "It’s an absolutely universal issue. I’m Gonna Like Me allows children to explore their own feelings of self-worth."

And you gotta love a first line like "I'm gonna like me when I jump out of bed, from my giant big toe to the braids on my head."

After all, isn't that the message we really want to share with our kids?

P.S. I have to say, Dr. Michael has a killer P.R. person working for him. This book seems to be on the desk of every parenting editor I've spoken with this week. And they all seem to think it's pretty pathetic. Even perezhilton.com got in on the book-review act. Check it out here.

P.S. Oh, by the way... If you click on the link to Dr. Michael's website, you'll get a pop-up "live chat" box, where a "patient coordinator" will ask what surgical procedure you're interested in. I used that as an opportunity to briefly share my thoughts on the book...




April 26, 2021

Four Top Tips for a Stronger Marriage

I just love Leo Babauta over at zenhabits.net. I never fail to learn something from his posts, and the discussions over there, in the comments section, are intelligent and thoughtful. Just hanging out there now and then makes me feel better about the world. (And there’s a reason zenhabits.net is one of the most-visited blogs in the world!) Leo has good stuff to say.

In his recent post, “The Seven Deadly Sins in a Relationship,” Leo says "While I can’t claim to be the world’s foremost expert on relationships, I do know that my wife and I have a very strong marriage, and have never been more in love.”

He’s failed at marriage before, he says, “but that’s helped me become better at it. I’ve learned the deadly sins of relationships, and how to recognize them and avoid them.”

A reader, newly married, asked Leo to share his tips on how to make a marriage work. “I wish I had a magic formula, but here’s a simple list of tips,” he says:

    * spend time alone together
    * appreciate each other
    * be intimate often
    * talk and share and give

Sounds good to me. And it’s so simple. But it’s so easy to forget these things, or to get too busy to do them. I think as parents, it's understandable that we focus much of our time and energy on our kids. And that's a good thing. But that relationship between Mom and Dad needs to be the foundation that everything else is built on in the family.

I know from experience that it's easy to get busy and assume that the foundation will just be there when you need it. But without doing what it takes to keep it strong, the walls can start to crumble. So tonight Randy and I are planning a date in the den with a good movie on DVD, a glass of wine and some popcorn — and maybe a little snuggling. (Proof that "dates" can be cheap but fun!)

Head on over to zenhabits.net to read the rest of Leo's post. You'll be glad you did. And thanks, Leo!

P.S. Corey over at The Simple Marriage Project also has a fun post on "How to Create a Passionate Marriage in the Shower." Check it out. Thanks, Corey!

April 24, 2021

Knock Yourself Up (No Man? No Problem!)

As a book reviewer, I've had fun carrying this hot (shocking pink!) little number around town with me this week, reading a few pages during my son's piano lesson, taking it along for a solo lunch at a favorite little Mexican restaurant — and never knowing who might see the cover and wonder...

Of course, like the just-too-funny promos for the new movie "Baby Mama" (about a woman who enlists the help of a surrogate), which opens today, the title Knock Yourself Up (Avery), by Louise Sloan, is meant to be an attention grabber.

But once I cracked the cover, I found solid information and lots of real stories about single women over 30 who are trying to make the right decision on this life-altering issue by doing a lot of research, doing a lot of soul searching and enlisting the support of family and friends. Sloan shares her (touching and often really funny) experiences and those of many others who've decided not to let being single stand in the way of becoming a mom. 

Got questions? The book answers these and a lot more: When do I decide it's time to go it alone? How do I choose the right sperm? Is this fair to the kid? Can I afford to do it? How do I tell my parents? How do I tell my dates? Have I gone totally crazy? Will I ever have sex — or a life — again?

For those who want to discuss these juicy questions with their book club, there's a guide with discussion questions. For even more info, stop by knockyourselfup.com.

While I had a man involved when I got pregnant, I can't say Randy and I exactly did it the old-fashioned way. Having gone through in vitro fertilization, I could relate quite a bit to the tales of hormone injections, blood tests and waaay too many doctor appointments involving transvaginal ultrasound and stirrups. Trust me, nobody goes through all this stuff on a lark.

As "Baby Mama," Knock Yourself Up and my own IFV experience will attest, there are lots of ways to bring a baby into the world these days. But one thing remains, and you can surely can see it in this melt-your-heart picture of Sloan and her son, Scott: Women are making these decisions based primarily on something that mothers have had in common through the ages: love.

April 22, 2021

You Create The Climate In Your Home

I stumbled across this quote the other day and it both intimidated me a little bit and also inspired me. It's a great reminder of how much a parent's mood and attitude have on the entire family. I think I'll stick it on my bulletin board as a reminder.

"I have come to the frightening conclusion that I am the decisive element. It is my personal approach that creates the climate. It is my daily mood that makes the weather. I possess tremendous power to make life miserable or joyous. I can be a tool of torture or an instrument of inspiration. I can humiliate or humor, hurt or heal. In all situations, it is my response that decides whether a crisis is escalated or de-escalated, and a person is humanized or de-humanized. If we treat people as they are, we make them worse. If we treat people as they ought to be, we help them become what they are capable of becoming."

— Goethe

April 21, 2021

Can Being a Parent Help You In Business, Too?

Today I'm happy to welcome guest blogger Adrian Miller, president of Adrian Miller Sales Training in Port Washington, New York. The proud mom of 23-year-old Eric (left) and 20-year-old Nick (in the green shirt, below), Miller has had just enough time away from the everyday parenting world to have gained a little perspective that the rest of us (who are still in the trenches) can benefit from. Here's her post on "How Being a Mom Has Helped Me In Business." Thanks, Adrian!

For most women, becoming a mother is a turning point in their life. It's a time that's rife with challenges, frustrations, and uncertainties, but it's also when many of life's most rewarding achievements and miraculous moments occur. What many new moms figure out rather quickly is that the skills that they use every day while taking care of children are also very applicable in succeeding in business. Nurturing a needy newborn isn't all that different from managing a high-maintenance client, and trying to juggle chores and kids can be strikingly similar to the multi-tasking required to manage a large list of prospects. Here are just a few of the skills that are fine-tuned and mastered the minute you take that leap into motherhood:

Patience. Colicky infants, whiny toddlers, defiant teenagers... If you didn't have patience before you had children, you quickly developed this virtue as a parent. And, the patience required for childcare definitely helps you increase your tolerance threshold in business. Difficult clients and prospects are plentiful, and patience is the key to unlocking their buying potential.

Time Management. As any new mother knows, time can be a scarce commodity and shouldn't be wasted frivolously. Whether you need to meet a specific deadline or only have an hour before your child wakes from a nap, time-management skills are essential to getting things done. Parenthood does wonders for enlightening women (and some men) on the need to budget time wisely, and this skill certainly gives moms a distinct competitive edge over their child-free colleagues.

Multi-tasking. If you've ever changed a diaper while on the phone making a doctor's appointment, while reading an email, you understand multi-tasking. Sure, we'd all love to be able to focus on one task at a time, but in this age of technology and information, the ability to multi-task is a necessity if you want to be competitive in the market. Motherhood promotes multi-tasking skills tremendously, and these skills remain with mothers long after the diaper changes cease.

Training Skills. One of the primary jobs of a parent is to teach your child what is needed to succeed in the world. This requires you to be a dedicated, skilled trainer. The same skills are required in business. Whether you're training a classroom of seminar attendees or guiding a client through the sales process, the training abilities you've acquired as a mother will certainly come in handy in the business world.

Flexibility. Children are full of surprises, and staying flexible is a necessity to maintain sanity. Every day is full of challenges and interruptions, and if there is one thing that is consistent about parenting, it's the fact that it's ever-changing. Inflexibility doesn't work for parents, nor does it work in business. People can be indecisive, situations can change, and even your role can evolve. Having the flexibility to gracefully manage the unexpected is a skill that will always serve you well, whether with the kids or in the office.

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