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May 30, 2021

Need a Little Gossip? Just Go to the Grocery Store

It's official. We no longer need soap operas on TV. Want juicy tales of marital cheating, embarrassing (or so you'd think) medical problems, and local gossip? Just walk the aisles of your neighborhood grocery store.

Lately I've overheard — from women talking on cell phones loudly enough to be heard all the way from the granola bars to the Raisin Bran —  all the details about how one mom hates her kid's baseball coach, how another's husband is cheating on her, and how a third is trying to find the right vaginal-itch cream.

Please, people! I'm just trying to buy some bananas. Do I need to hear all the intimate details of your life? (And forget about me. What if your kid's coach or your child's teacher is shopping just one aisle over?)

Of course, the worst part is that many of these people (and, sadly, the vast majority of these yackers seem to be women) have young children in the shopping cart, hearing every word they say. Don't they realize these little people are sponges? That they have ears?

It's so tempting to go up to these women and say something, but what would you say? "Have you talked with a therapist?" "Can I recommend a good gynecologist?" "Was that your coach's wife I just saw in the produce section?"

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I used to be a kindergarten teacher. It amazed me what some of the kids would come to school saying that they overheard from their parents. Maybe we're all so self absorbed that we have tunnel vision.

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