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Time for Mom

July 16, 2008

A Little Ice Cream... And a Better Day Today

IcecreamSeveral readers have e-mailed to suggest that the comment I left yesterday (in the comments section, not as a post) should be a post. So here goes: 

Today is a much better parenting day, and I even felt a bit (just a bit) bad about writing such a whining post yesterday. (Although in my "What's Parent Talk Today?" description, I do promise a bit of whining now and then!) I considered taking the (July 14) post down, but then I thought "Hey, this is real life. Some days we drive the people we love crazy, and we muddle through and move on to the next day and it all works out." That's probably a better thought to share with my fellow parents than all the hearts-and-flowers posts about mommyhood could ever be. (Although you'll find those here, too.) Because none of us is even close to perfect, and it helps, I think, to know that other moms have days when running to the grocery store, alone, feels like sweet relief. So the post stays. And the love for my son never disappears — even when I'm so frustrated with him that I want to take his video games and hold a big garage sale because he's driving me nuts. Today is a better day. But boy, that ice cream tasted good last night!

July 11, 2008

Energy Drinks: Is It Safe for Tired Moms to Get Buzzed?

IStock_000005290725XSmall Would you believe there are now are at least 200 different energy drinks on the market? Yep. It’s a billion-dollar industry. But is it a good idea to get an energy-drink buzz when the demands of parenthood are wearing you out?

“There was a time when we would get our caffeine intake from coffee and cola, but now there are a number of caffeine-containing beverages, and we need to be careful because over a period of 24 hours, that caffeine intake is cumulative,” says Dee Rollins, R.D., PhD, a dietitian with Baylor Regional Medical Center at Grapevine in Grapevine, Texas.

Experts say energy-drink consumers should keep careful track of the amount of caffeine they get in a day. “If you know that 400 milligrams a day is the upper limit, you can check the back of the labels and make sure that you don’t get more than that,” explains Rollins.

It may sound like a lot, but 400 milligrams is roughly the equivalent of just one energy drink and two cups of coffee. Getting more than that can lead to jitteriness, nausea, heart palpitations — and in extreme cases, more severe symptoms.

“It can be so bad that if you take too much caffeine you can end up in the hospital thinking you have flu-like symptoms and really it’s caffeine overdose,” says Rollins.

For most people — if they’re not getting more than around 400 milligrams of caffeine a day — these energy drinks are safe, says Rollins. But here are some important things to remember:

°    Don’t drink energy beverages while exercising. It can lead to severe dehydration.

°    Don’t ever mix these drinks with alcohol. Doing so can not only mask how intoxicated you really are, it can be extremely dehydrating.

°    Remember that, in addition to caffeine, most energy drinks contain very high amounts of sugar and sodium, which can be dangerous for diabetics or those with high blood pressure.

July 06, 2008

Parents Need Naps, Too!

6a00e009941883883300e553a156118834-800wi The Boston Glob ran a terrific article recently on "How to Nap." My first thought, when I saw it, was "Come on. Who doesn't know how to nap?" But as I learned, there's a lot to know.

Are you a lark or an owl? When you go to bed and get up determines your optimal time for napping. The length of your nap determines whether you awake refreshed or groggy. (So set a timer.) And be sure to check out the great tips for "the perfect siesta," including suggestions for how to quiet your mind, calm your body and create the right environment for snoozing.

Whether you're at the "nap while the baby naps" stage (Forget the laundry and dishes!) or you're the slightly stressed mother of teens, a nap will do you a world of good.

Now I just need to stop blogging for 20 minutes and go take my own advice...

June 04, 2008

"Mommying Your Husband" Hits a Nerve

IStock_000006130555XSmallI was jazzed to see that my post yesterday, about a CNN.com article on "mommying your husband" is now #12 on the Hot List over at Cafemom.com. (See the Cafe Mom post and comments here.) The women commenting over there are talking about everything from making their husband's lunch to setting out his vitamins to making all his appointments.

But I really like Jen Singer's comments on yesterday's post here:

"Okay, that's insane. And it's ruining it for the rest of us. About 15 years ago, my husband wore too-casual shoes to a wedding. When his sister and her friends discovered he'd underdressed for the event, they blamed ME. Huh? He's a grown man. I don't dress him like a Ken doll to take him out."

May 27, 2008

Jessica Alba's Pregnancy Style

Images The folks over at SporkFashion.com scored a fun interview recently. They talked with Jessica Alba about how pregnancy changed her style.  Check out the interview here.

I have to admit that, looking at her, I don't feel all that stylish when I think back to my own maternity clothes. But I love how she talks about taking her skinny jeans (and these are skinny jeans; scroll down on the Spork blog page to see them) and turning them into maternity jeans. She also takes a mini dress and wears it as a top.

While we non-celebrity moms may not be wearing all the latest designer-label ($$$) maternity clothes, we can steal some great tips from this mom-to-be who always looks fabulous. (And I love that Alba mentions that her shoes no longer fit! Boy, can we all relate to that or what?)


May 13, 2008

High School Confidential

Istock_000005085148xsmall I thought I was the only mom on the planet who ever feels that motherhood is a lot like high school. Turns out I'm not alone.

My buddy Cynthia over at Sugar Mama says the only difference is that now you can't run to your room after school on particularly bad days. "You have to live in your own mistakes, fears, bad haircuts, every second of every day and learn to love it," she adds.

Humor definitely helps — and Sugar Mama has that in spades. And some days, you receive support from someone out of the blue that means so much. Click on the link above to hear the rest of the story.

May 06, 2008

How Many Balls Are You Juggling?

Istock_000000702961xsmall Edward M. Hallowell, M.D., author of Crazy Busy: Overstretched, Overbooked and About to Snap!, tells a wonderful story, over on his website, Crazy Busy Life, that every parent can appreciate:

"I once interviewed a professional juggler. He told me the greatest number of balls he could juggle was six. The greatest anyone had ever juggled, as far as he knew, was eleven... I asked him if he was working to get to seven balls. He told me he was not because in order to get to seven he would have to give up several hours a day for at least six months, and he didn't have time to spare to do that. 'I'm very good,' he told me. 'I put on a great show with six. No one has ever come up to me and told me they wish I had done seven. I can work many variations with six and make people's jaws drop. Six is enough. I don't need more.'

Hallowell then asks us to consider: "Are you juggling more balls than you NEED to juggle? What do you give up if you are?"

That's a tough one. I love my family. I love my job. I love volunteering at my church and my son's school. What tends to get lost in the shuffle are things like exercise, getting my hair trimmed, shaving my legs — you know, basic physical maintenance. Not good!

So this week I plan to visit the dentist, shave those hairy legs, and get on the treadmill (an actual treadmill, not the treadmill that is sometimes my life!) for some cardio work. (Maybe I'll work out during American Idol tonight. And if Jason Castro wins this thing in a few weeks, it will only be because every 11-year-old girl in America voted for him because of his eyes! My pick? David Cook.)

May 04, 2008

Sneaking Off For a Date...

Home_center_2 It's Sunday, and Randy and I needed to run to Home Depot and other exciting spots to do some shopping that would bore Matt (age 12) to tears.

So Matt volunteered to stay home and work on homework and household chores(!) while Randy and I went to buy towel bars and toilet plungers. (Yeah, marriage doesn't get any sexier than that...)

In the middle of running errands, with my stomach growling, I spotted our favorite burger joint, In 'N Out. I didn't have to work too hard to convince Randy to stop for lunch. We had so much fun! (Especially since our usual at-home meals consist of healthy chicken, pasta, fish, chicken, pasta, fish, chicken, pasta, fish...)

Can't remember the last time the two of us had just gone out for a burger, alone, on the spur of the moment. "Don't tell Matt!" we laughed, knowing he'd be mighty jealous.

As marital secrets go, this isn't a barn-burner, I know. But Randy and I must have looked pretty funny, sneaking out of the car when we got back home and tossing our In 'N Out soda cups in the recycling bin out by the street before we entered the house.

Shhh! Don't tell Matt.

April 20, 2008

Ugh - Sick Days!

Istock_000005317218xsmallGotta love days like this: There's no food in the house, the laundry is in piles, I have writing deadlines out the wazoo — and my hubby and I are both sick.

Happily, Matt, our son, seems to have avoided catching either my sinus infection/bronchitis or his dad's upset stomach. So far. We're doing a lot of hand washing!

Schlepping through the past five days makes me realize how much I normally accomplish around here. And it makes me really appreciate my usual good health. But it's still hard not to get down in the dumps when all you want to do is go back to bed for the day...

As a busy parent, how do you handle those days and weeks when you're under the weather, but the demands of home and family continue? I need all the tips I can get this week!

Well, I'm off to go toss a coin with Randy to see who gets to head to the grocery store...

April 17, 2008

Welcome Jen Singer! (And Yes, She's a Good Mom)

873ec060ada0fadb70d49110l_sx267_41gpg8fnnml_sl500_aa240_ Today we're pleased to chat with Jen Singer, author of You’re a Good Mom…And Your Kids Aren’t So Bad Either: 14 Secrets for Finding Happiness Between Super Mom and Slacker Mom.

For 21st Century mothers, there often seem to be just two choices: Super Mom or Slacker Mom. One’s bad for you; one’s bad for your kids. So what’s a mom to do? Singer offers secrets for raise perfectly good kids in that sweet spot between flash cards at breakfast and “donuts for dinner, kids!” The book is available on Amazon and at bookstores everywhere.

Thanks for making Parent Talk Today a stop on your blog tour, Jen! Now on to our Q&A:

Q.    How did motherhood get to be so competitive?

Jen Singer: It started with the very first Baby on Board sticker, most likely stuck on a 1985 Volvo. Since then, our society went child centric – and a little crazy, too. We’ve raised the motherhood bar so impossibly high, we can’t reach it. We drive our kids to not one, not two, but three activities and sports in a week – sometimes in a day. We use flash cards at stop lights and play music for our kids in utero. (Have you ever tried to listen to music underwater? It sounds all wrong.)

Q. That’s why we all feel like slacker moms, right? We can’t keep up.

Jen: And then we give up, and eventually, we’re serving donuts for dinner and letting our kids watch Desperate Housewives, because it’s easier than sending them to bed. But that’s bad for our kids, and trying to be a Super Mom is bad for us. There’s a sweet spot in between where you can raise good kids without losing yourself.

Q. So how can moms find that in between spot?

Jen: The first secret to finding happiness in 21st century motherhood is to realize that Super Mom is faking it and Slacker Mom isn’t as cool as she appears to be. The town über mom probably only gets to put her feet up at the gynecologist’s office. The rest of the time, she’s frantically trying to make perfect kids in her perfect house. She’s exhausted and her kids are, too.

The cool mom, on the other hand, has no idea what her kids are up to while she sucks down Diet Cokes and watches like-minded women on Moment of Truth. And now that there are web sites where kids as young as eight can build a virtual bimbo, breast implants and all, that’s pretty darn scary.

Q. But what if you want to do right by your kids? Don’t you have to sign them up for lots of activities just to keep up with everyone else?

Jen: Here’s one of my tips: Don’t be a frequent flyer. In other words, you don’t have to fill out all those flyers for karate and drama camp and math enrichment just because they come home with your kids. Pick one or two activities that your children are excited about, and sign up for those. And – I know this one is hard in the age of travel sports – let your kids play one sport per season, especially if they’re under 10. It’ll be easier on them and on the mileage of your mini-van.

Q. What if all the other moms are doing it?

Jen: Be a rebel mom. I know it’s hard to be the only mother who puts her foot down and doesn’t let her kid watch The Simpsons or play Halo. These days, it’s also much harder to shield our kids from age inappropriate media because there’s so much of it out there. But it pains me that even second graders watch CSI, which has gruesome crime scenes that even make grown-ups like me flinch. It’s more work to be your kids’ filter nowadays, but it’s also more important than ever to protect them from things they’re not ready for because there’s so much of it out there.

Q. Do you think the Internet helps or hinders today’s moms?

Jen: One of the best things for modern motherhood is the Internet. Also, one of the worst things for modern motherhood is the Internet. On the one hand, we can find blogs and web sites like this one that give us a sense of community, answer our parenting questions and even make us laugh. But we can also innocently look up the rash our kid has and wind up convincing ourselves that it’s a flesh-eating parasite from the Amazon, when we haven’t even gone hiking in a park, let alone in the jungle. Google wisely.

Q. What one tip would you give moms who are trying to find happiness?

Jen: Use triage. Pick out only those things that are truly important to you and your family, and aim for those. Take volunteering jobs that allow you to see your kids, like being a Cub Scouts den leader or escorting on the class trip. Build in playtime to your calendar – for the kids and for you. Move the computer into the family room so you can see what your kids are doing online. Then let everything that’s less important go. Really, do you have to bake cupcakes for your child’s birthday celebration at school when the bakery will do that for you?

Q. Do you think you’re a good mom?

Jen: It depends on the day! When my kids were toddlers, I used to feel guilty for folding laundry instead of entertaining them, even though I was spending upwards of 100 hours a week with them as a full-time at-home mom. I thought I had to constantly create teachable moments in order to prepare them for the future. But I really needed to teach them independence and self sufficiency. I’m not going to be there to help them pick out lunch or manage homework at college, after all. A good mom gets her kids ready for life on their own – and prepares herself for life without her kids.

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