Parent Talk Today

Take Me Out to The Blog Carnival!

It's blog-carnival time over at About.com, and I'm jazzed that Parent Talk Today was mentioned on their "End Mid-Summer Madness Now!" post.

Head over there right now (or after you hang around here for a bit!) to learn about:

°    The dangers kids can get into when they have too much time on their hands in the summer.

°    How to strengthen the bond with your children.

°    Fun ways to interact with preschoolers.

°    How parents who work from a home office can swing a break now and then. (Picnic, anyone?)

°    How to get fit as a family.

°    How to participate in community service as a family.

°    How to host a teen slumber party

°    Play-date tips.

Prevent Summer Brain Drain!

When summer arrives, kids are jazzed to have a break from school and homework. But parents worry that their children’s brains will turn to mush between now and September.

Here are some fun ways to sneak in a little learning while having a great time with the kids this summer.

°    Learn cool science tricks with the “Surfing Scientist." Australian physics instructor (and surfer) Ruben Meerman shows kids how to amaze their friends by lifting a marble off a table by touching it only with a glass, making an ice cube necklace, turning an empty soft drink can into a twirling ballerina and much more. (Younger kids will need assistance.)

°    Take audio books on family car trips. Many public libraries have a selection of audio books, both on tape and on CD. One summer my family listened to two wonderful books, Shiloh and Holes, during a family road trip. We talked about those stories for days afterward, and it was great to share the experience as a family, as opposed to watching our son play video games — and zone out — in the back seat.

°    Check out local museums and historical sites. Get a map and mark where these sites are located, then go exploring, suggests Deb Fuller, a freelance museum educator in Alexandria, Virginia. “Kids can help navigate,” she says. “This teaches them map-reading skills, geography and spatial relations. Even young children can learn to follow along on a map and learn how to give simple directions.” Call in advance to see whether any special programs are going on that day. Pre-teens and teens may even want to volunteer at one of these sites, Fuller adds. “I don't know of a museum that doesn't need some extra help and that won't take willing volunteers,” she says. “It's a great way for children to learn to give back to the community and learn responsibility.”

°    Create folding paper toys. Kids can visit The Toymaker (www.thetoymaker.com) and click on “free toys” on the home page to download full-color paper toys that they can print on sturdy paper, cut out and assemble themselves. Make a bug box, a bunny basket, a jigsaw puzzle and more.

°    Visit a nature park. “These parks offer nature walks for all ages, from simple introductions to the park to bird watching and plant identification,” says Fuller. Your family might experience native- American crafts, a guided fishing trip or live animal encounters. Some nature parks offer stroller walks for parents with toddlers, too. “Many nature centers also have garden plots and garden clubs that your family can participate in,” says Fuller.

°    Have fun with grocery-store math. Turn a trip to the grocery store into a fun learning experience. Before you head to the store, ask the kids to use the printable worksheet to estimate prices for items on your list. Once there, have your kids check out the actual price for each item. Then get those math skills working as they calculate the difference between the estimated price and the real price. (And talk about a great way to teach kids the importance of family budgeting. With the price of groceries these days, you’d think Lucky Charms would come with a real pot of gold!)

°    Document the family vacation. Older kids can use a digital camera to record vacation memories, then download the photos into the family computer. Show them how to make prints and create a scrapbook or let them create a multi-media presentation with computer software, showcasing the photos and adding music, titles, etc. Burn CDs to send to family and friends. 

°    Check out bookstores and libraries for free summer programs. “On Saturday mornings in the summer, I take my boys (ages 9 and 13) to our local Barnes & Noble for their programs for different age groups, which usually include an author reading, activities and fun,” says Candace Reese of Kennesaw, Georgia.

°    Take younger kids to the post office. Talk with your child about “snail mail” and how it’s different from e-mail. Tell her about the Pony Express (visit the Pony Express National Museum website at www.ponyexpress.org) and the different ways mail is delivered today — by plane, train, boat, etc., suggests Don Schilling, editor of The Stamp Collecting Round Up at
www.stampcollectingroundup.blogspot.com. “Let your child pick out some stamps she thinks are interesting. When you get home, write a letter together and use one of the stamps your child selected,” Schilling adds. Talk with your child about starting a stamp collection.
 
°    Visit hands-on history days and historical re-enactments. Kids can try their hand at living like their ancestors by churning butter, making candles, learning how to spin and knit, using historical tools and meeting living-history interpreters who dress in period clothing, says Fuller. “I've seen kids get sucked into history this way,” she adds, noting that children have fun poking cloves into oranges to make pomanders or shaking little jars of cream to make butter. Compare the cost of a day at such an event, which runs, at most, $20 for a family of four, with the cost of amusement parks and even movies, says Fuller. You’ll get a lot more educational (and fun!) bang for your buck.

Parents Magazine Wants Your Family's "Giving-Back" Ideas

I love Parents magazine's wonderful blog, GoodyBlog. (Their fun tag line is "Must see. Must Do. Must Have. Right Now," and they cover parenting news, hot new baby and kid products and much more.

One warning: The site is addictive, so don't get too engrossed right before it's time to go pick up the kids from a play date! They even have a cool GoodyBlog Facebook group that you can join for more news and tips.

Today's post is especially fun. The editors are looking for families who give back during the holidays (yes, they know it's July, but magazine editors have to think far ahead), whether it's making a cookie plate for your local nursing home or making and decorating your own canned goods for a homeless shelter.

If you've done a project (big or small; simple is fine) with your kids to help those in need during the holidays, head over to GoodyBlog and share your idea in the comments section. Your idea and story could be featured in Parents this holiday season!

10 Ways to Prevent Summer Brain Drain

Kids vegging out in front of the tube too much this summer? Head on over to Montana Parent's terrific website and check out my new article, "10 Ways to Prevent Brain Drain," for expert tips on keeping your kids' brains engaged during these lazy days. (They'll have so much fun, they won't even realize their synapses are popping, I promise.) Here's a sample:

• Learn cool science tricks with the Surfing Scientist. At www.abc.net.au/science/surfingscientist/tricks.htm, Australian physics instructor (and surfer) Ruben Meerman shows kids how to amaze their friends by lifting a marble off a table by touching it only with a glass, making an ice cube necklace, turning an empty soft drink can into a twirling ballerina and much more. (Younger kids will need assistance.)

 • Have fun with grocery-store math. Visit http://printables4kids.com/grocery-cart-math to turn a trip to the grocery store into a fun learning experience. Before you head to the store, ask the kids to use the printable worksheet to estimate prices for items on your list. Once there, have your kids check out the actual price for each item. Then get those math skills working as they calculate the difference between the estimated price and the real price. (And talk about a great way to teach kids the importance of family budgeting. With the price of groceries these days, you’d think Lucky Charms would come with a real pot of gold!)

• Take younger kids to the post office. Talk with your child about “snail mail” and how it’s different from e-mail. Tell her about the Pony Express (visit the Pony Express National Museum website at www.ponyexpress.org) and the different ways mail is delivered today — by plane, train, boat, etc., suggests Don Schilling, editor of The Stamp Collecting Round Up (www.stampcollectingroundup.blogspot.com). “Let your child pick out some stamps she thinks are interesting. When you get home, write a letter together and use one of the stamps your child selected,” Schilling adds. Talk with your child about starting a stamp collection.

Want more? Click here.

A Little League Mom Rounds Third

It wasn’t all that long ago that my son, Matt, was thrilled to be wearing his first baseball glove (carefully broken in by Dad in a weeks-long ritual involving special oil, rubber bands and voo-doo, I think). Matt was beyond excited to help carry the team banner in his first Little League parade, and he couldn’t wait to get up to bat in his first t-ball game.

That little guy with the baggy baseball pants is now 12 years old,  5'7", a pretty good pitcher and running full-tilt toward his next baseball league. Time, it seems, is rushing by faster than a line drive to left field.

So it was especially poignant to open my e-mail recently and to read a note from the president of our local Little League:

"On a personal note, our fourth child will leave Little League for high school baseball next fall. For the first time in 15 years, we will not have a child playing Little League,” he wrote. “The time slipped by very quickly and our children have few memories of championships or All Star teams. Instead, they just have a love of the game, an appreciation for sportsmanship and competition, and fond memories of time spent with Dad."

He ended his letter to the parents with some advice: "Please relax and enjoy this time in your child’s life. It will pass quickly..."

That’s something I've tried to keep in mind every season as Team Sena scurries around the house, grabbing cleats, equipment and water bottles, and then heading off to yet another game, yelling to each other “Did someone feed the dog?” “Do you have your baseball cap?” “Are the stadium seats in the trunk?” as we rush out the door.

Between practice and games (on top of homework and all the regular stuff that keeps a mom churning until 11:00 most nights), my time certainly isn't my own during baseball season. But I'm acutely aware that that’s not a permanent state of affairs. So I'm trying to appreciate each crack of the bat just a bit more than I probably did when the end wasn’t so clearly in sight (or, let’s face it, when my turn for snack-stand duty rolled around).

Because in the not-too-distant future, I'll have to be satisfied with flipping through scrapbooks and watching home videos showing a bunch of wound-up, grass-stained, sunflower-seed-filled boys in a dugout, yelling "LET'S GO SEN-A!"

I hope Matt has wonderful memories of these years. I know his dad and I will. The knowledge that nothing lasts forever — in Little League or in life — sometimes makes my heart ache as a parent. But it also makes every snack-stand hot dog, every scramble to first base, every glance up at the stands to grin at Mom and Dad after a good play, just that much more delicious.

Hey McDonald's: Your New Pitch Doesn't Cut It For This Mom

I know McDonald's is trying to court the young-adult crowd with its new radio ad featuring an insipid-sounding young woman exclaiming "OMG!" in regard to meeting her girlfriends at Mickey D's for coffee and gossip. But as a mom, I have to speak up. (After all, McDonald's is also going after the parents of young kids, constantly, right?)

I have always taught my son, from the time he was a preschooler, the importance of not taking God's name in vain. And there are certainly better ways to mention God than exclaiming "OMG!" about coffee. I'm no over-the-top parent who writes letters to the editor and cancels magazine subscriptions over every little thing. But this ad offends me, and I don't think it's a help to parents to have it playing on the radio. As a company that markets to families as well as to young adults, McDonald's should keep this in mind.

And for what it's worth, In 'N Out has MUCH better burgers...

If you'd like to let McDonald's know how you feel about this ad, click here.

Gas Prices Got You Down? Vacation at Home

Wondering how high airline ticket prices will go as you're planning that family vacation? Thinking that a driving trip will break the bank?

There's another option. Check out my article, "Vacationing at Home," over at littlerockfamily.com. You'll find lots of tips for making family memories right in your own backyard. (And I promise, this doesn't involve mom doing any dishes! I mean, there are limits, right?)

Of course, vacationing at home still means VACATIONING. I highly recommend going out for yummy breakfasts at every opportunity... And for the price of a tank of gas these days, you can buy a lot of banana pancakes with whipped cream!

Fun Optical Illusions for the Whole Family

I love it when I learn about a website or video that's entertaining and that also teaches something cool. Optical-illusion expert Jerry Andress will amaze you and your kids with this YouTube video showing how what we see depends on how our brain interprets things. Check it out.

Are You Taking The Bait?

Today we're featuring a terrific guest post from family therapist Corey Allan, Ph.D. who blogs over at The Simple Marriage Project. Corey and his wife, who celebrated their 15th anniversary this month, have a 3-year-old daughter and a 1-year-old son. (And a cool dog named Otis — see below.) Thanks for sharing this with us, Corey!

Spend any time with a parent, and you are bound to hear tales of his or her children's escapades. Stories about when they said the most inappropriate thing at the most inopportune time, when they continue to test the boundaries and rules, or when they've thrown a tantrum at Target. It's enough to drive almost anyone crazy. Take comfort in knowing that you're not alone.

Parents worldwide have gone through or are currently in the midst of the storm as well. Take advantage of the times when you can swap stories with other parents in the trenches. It can be hilarious, enlightening — and you may walk away from the conversation thankful for your children's "tame" behavior.

Have you ever stopped to contemplate your role in your child's behaviors? Could it be that they feed off you? I believe the answer is yes.

Applying this thought to parenting is the way to begin to gain control over your child's behaviors. And the most effective way to do this is to get a better handle on your own emotional reactivity.

Let me explain. You come in after a long day and your child is in a bad mood due to a run-in he had with his teacher at school. You are already predisposed to reacting badly to any negative behaviors due to your tough day, and your child decides this is the best time to inform you that he did not do any of the chores you assigned him for the week. He even goes so far as to add a few colorful descriptions to his replies.

Do you take the bait and jump all over his disrespectful attitude? If you do, you've allowed him to change the topic of conversation, which was his incomplete chores. It's easy to react when our buttons get pushed, but it is also the way they kids the subject. And they only get more expert at this skill as they grow older.

When it comes to arguments with another person, especially children and teenagers, the rule is this: Whoever controls the mood and the direction of the argument will win the argument.

My belief is that if, as a parent, you get into an argument with your child, they've already won. While they may not have changed the responsibility or the consequence, the fact that you had to argue about it keeps the "power" in their court. They controlled you by pushing your emotional buttons. When our emotions get the best of us in conversations, most people either over-react or shut down completely — leaving a possible wake of damage behind.

To take charge of your child's behaviors, learn to react less emotionally to their instigations. It will change the dynamic between you and leave them wondering what to do next. After you have learned to react less, you are then more capable of creating an appropriate consequence for the behavior.

As a parent, you're not raising puppies. You don't have to catch your child in the act. Take some time to contemplate an appropriate consequence. Confer with your spouse. Search the Internet. Then get back with your child and calmly inform them of the consequences of their actions.

Do this consistently and over time, you will be in charge of the playing field in which your children reside. There will also be far less damage repair needed after the emotional upheavals.

Incidentally, the principles of being less emotionally reactive work with spouses as well.

You Can Recycle THAT?

It's easy to think of the usual suspects when it comes to teaching your kids about recycling: newspapers, bottles, cans.

But how about also recycling tennis shoes, computers, packing peanuts, cell phones, toothbrushes, motor oil, formal dresses, eyeglasses... Whew! The possibilities are exciting.   

Visit Forecast Earth to learn more and check out their terrific article, "10 Things to Recycle That You Never Thought You Could."