Parent Talk Today

What's With All the Swearing Mommy Bloggers?

What gives? Is the blogosphere some sort of 5th-grade playground where we need to impress each other with how cool we can be by throwing in the F-word every few paragraphs?

As a journalist for magazines and newspapers for the past 14 years, I've always enjoyed the challenge of coming up with (or at least trying to come up with) just the right word to describe something in an article. And for the publications I work with, profanity isn't an option.

But now that I've been blogging on Parent Talk Today for a year, I've had a chance to check out a LOT of so-called mommy blogs. (I hate the term, but that's what everyone seems to want to call them.) Many are creative, fun, informative and even addictive. But a surprising number of them are written by women who apparently find the need to swear like sailors.

I recently attended the BlogHer conference in San Francisco, and in a final "community keynote," 20 or so women bloggers (and one guy) got up on stage, in front of about a thousand people in a huge ballroom, and read their favorite blog post. (The posts were chosen by a committee in advance. And these weren't all mommy bloggers on stage, but many were.)

Sure enough, a few of the posts contained some pretty raw language. And in looking around the room, I saw mixed reactions. Personally, I was just sad that these otherwise truly talented writers had settled for cheap shock value.

In so many blogs that I've read lately, it just seems as if the writers are taking the lazy way out. But, using the currently popular acronym, WTF do I know?

Yes, yes, yes. Free speech. Freedom of expression. The ability to share our true feelings in our blogs and to tell it like it is. It's all important. But why the potty mouth? Is it necessary?

Hey, sometimes I let loose with a swear word or two in my daily life. (Lately, they seem to be reserved for people who run stop signs.) I'm not advocating that we all become Pollyanna here. But when it comes to writing articles and this blog, I have too much respect for my audience to go there.

So please tell me, if you're a mommy blogger who likes to turn the blogesphere blue fairly frequently: What's the attraction in including the F word (and, in some cases, much more) in your posts?

Earthquake!

About 30 minutes ago, we here in the Los Angeles area experienced a 5.8 earthquake. We're all fine here, after spending a minute or so hanging onto a door frame and feeling the house rolling back and forth a bit. No damage that we can see (although the dog is a bit perplexed). We're hoping everyone else in Southern California, especially near the epicenter in the Diamond Bar area, is OK.

This seems like a great time to remind everyone about the Red Cross recommendations for what to do following an earthquake:

• Check yourself for injuries. Often people tend to others without checking their own injuries. You will be better able to care for others if you are not injured or if you have received first aid for your injuries.

• Protect yourself from further danger by putting on long pants, a long-sleeved shirt, sturdy shoes, and work gloves. This will protect your from further injury by broken objects.

• After you have taken care of yourself, help injured or trapped persons. If you have it in your area, call 9-1-1, then give first aid when appropriate. Don't try to move seriously injured people unless they are in immediate danger of further injury.

• Look for and extinguish small fires. Eliminate fire hazards. Putting out small fires quickly, using available resources, will prevent them from spreading. Fire is the most common hazard following earthquakes. Fires followed the San Francisco earthquake of 1906 for three days, creating more damage than the earthquake.

• Leave the gas on at the main valve, unless you smell gas or think it's leaking. It may be weeks or months before professionals can turn gas back on using the correct procedures. Explosions have caused injury and death when homeowners have improperly turned their gas back on by themselves.

• Clean up spilled medicines, bleaches, gasoline, or other flammable liquids immediately. Avoid the hazard of a chemical emergency.

• Open closet and cabinet doors cautiously. Contents may have shifted during the shaking of an earthquake and could fall, creating further damage or injury.

• Inspect your home for damage. Get everyone out if your home is unsafe. Aftershocks following earthquakes can cause further damage to unstable buildings. If your home has experienced damage, get out before aftershocks happen.

• Help neighbors who may require special assistance. Elderly people and people with disabilities may require additional assistance. People who care for them or who have large families may need additional assistance in emergency situations.

• Listen to a portable, battery-operated radio (or television) for updated emergency information and instructions. If the electricity is out, this may be your main source of information. Local radio and local officials provide the most appropriate advice for your particular situation.

• Expect aftershocks. Each time you feel one, drop, cover, and hold on! Aftershocks frequently occur minutes, days, weeks, and even months following an earthquake.

• Watch out for fallen power lines or broken gas lines, and stay out of damaged areas. Hazards caused by earthquakes are often difficult to see, and you could be easily injured.

• Stay out of damaged buildings. If you are away from home, return only when authorities say it is safe. Damaged buildings may be destroyed by aftershocks following the main quake.

• Use battery-powered lanterns or flashlights to inspect your home. Kerosene lanterns, torches, candles, and matches may tip over or ignite flammables inside.

• Inspect the entire length of chimneys carefully for damage. Unnoticed damage could lead to fire or injury from falling debris during an aftershock. Cracks in chimneys can be the cause of a fire years later.

• Take pictures of the damage, both to the house and its contents, for insurance claims.

• Avoid smoking inside buildings. Smoking in confined areas can cause fires.

• When entering buildings, use extreme caution. Building damage may have occurred where you least expect it. Carefully watch every step you take.

  • Examine walls, floor, doors, staircases, and windows to make sure that the building is not in danger of collapsing.

  • Check for gas leaks. If you smell gas or hear a blowing or hissing noise, open a window and quickly leave the building. Turn off the gas, using the outside main valve if you can, and call the gas company from a neighbor's home. If you turn off the gas for any reason, it must be turned back on by a professional.

  • Look for electrical system damage. If you see sparks or broken or frayed wires, or if you smell burning insulation, turn off the electricity at the main fuse box or circuit breaker. If you have to step in water to get to the fuse box or circuit breaker, call an electrician first for advice.

  • Check for sewage and water line damage. If you suspect sewage lines are damaged, avoid using the toilets and call a plumber. If water pipes are damaged, contact the water company and avoid using water from the tap. You can obtain safe water from undamaged water heaters or by melting ice cubes.

  • Watch for loose plaster, drywall, and ceilings that could fall.

• Use the telephone only to report life-threatening emergencies. Telephone lines are frequently overwhelmed in disaster situations. They need to be clear for emergency calls to get through.

• Watch animals closely. Leash dogs and place them in a fenced yard. The behavior of pets may change dramatically after an earthquake. Normally quiet and friendly cats and dogs may become aggressive or defensive.

Need a (Flexible) Job? Beyondmotherhood.com Can Help

Shannon Davis, the founder of  Beyondmotherhood.com is all about thinking big, and creatively, when it comes to promoting women's careers. (And I LOVE the logo for her company's website. Let's give a shout out for sexy-looking moms with realistic hips!)

As a mother of two, Davis knows that being a mom is a wonderful job — but sometimes you find yourself needing extra income (filled your gas tank lately?), the chance to have a little more contact with the adult world, or both.

Unable to find what she was looking for in the work world, and recognizing there was a real demand from both women and employers, Shannon created Beyondmotherhood.com. Her organization affords women the opportunity to raise a family and use their business skills in a flexible work environment. It's essentially a matchmaking site for employers and employees, with the employers paying the fee for the service.

"Many mothers resign themselves to the fact that they cannot have it all — being home with your children when they need you while maintaining a position in the working world," says Davis. "Why not? Why must we be either a 'Stay at Home Mom' or a 'Working Mom'? Why can't we have and be both?"

Whether you're looking for a job that will get you out of house for a few hours a week or one that could become a stepping stone to a full-time position in the future, check out Beyondmotherhood.com.

Have You Embarrassed Your Kid Today?

I just found this photo in a drawer and it cracked me up. I was about 17 when it was taken. What were we thinking with those perms? I guess I was channeling my inner Roseanne Roseannadanna from Saturday Night Live. (See a great 1980 bit from "Gilda Live," below).

The thing that hit me the most was the fact that the current generation of kids and teens is the most-photographed bunch of children in the history of the planet. And we parents have a lot more photos of ourselves as kids than our parents ever had.

Now that photography has gone digital, it's easier than ever to shoot, and shoot and shoot (because nothing's cuter than our kids, right?). I know my son will go into adulthood with his entire childhood pretty darned well documented.

In fact, Matt asked me to stop scrapbooking in actual albums a few years ago because he didn't want to have to "lug the things around with me after you're gone, Mom." (Gee, thanks, kid!) Instead, he wondered "Can't you just put all my photos on a thumb drive and hand it to me?"

These days, I guess I can. But I'll also make sure I scan and include a few ancient photos of Matt's dear old mom and dad (and the rest of his extended family, too). Besides, it's fun to have him look at pics like this (when he's at an age where my mere existence is an embarrassment to him) and hear him say "that's just weird, Mom."

That's me, kid. Just doin' my job.

Want Free Shipping? Look Here

As a busy parent (and someone who is tired of watching too many dollars flow into my gas tank), I love the idea of shopping online. (What did I ever do before Amazon.com and their free shipping for any order of $25 or more?) Besides, we all know how much fun it is to drag our little ones from store to store...

Now there's a website that will clue you in on lots of other online retailers that offer free shipping. Launched last December, FreeShipping.org includes more than 800 name-brand stores. You can search by brand or category.

You'll find free-shipping offers from JCPenney, Target, Bloomingdale's, Kohl's, Sears, Best Buy, Old Navy, Nordstrom and many more.  Macy's offers as many as 15 free shipping coupons at one time.  

Just heard yesterday that Amazon.com's stock is going up, up, up, and that it's attributed to the fact that they offer this free-shipping deal to those of us who don't want to waste gas running to brick-and-mortar stores. I love that so many stores are jumping on that bandwagon. And thanks to this great new site, it's easier than ever to find them.

Parents Magazine Wants Your Family's "Giving-Back" Ideas

I love Parents magazine's wonderful blog, GoodyBlog. (Their fun tag line is "Must see. Must Do. Must Have. Right Now," and they cover parenting news, hot new baby and kid products and much more.

One warning: The site is addictive, so don't get too engrossed right before it's time to go pick up the kids from a play date! They even have a cool GoodyBlog Facebook group that you can join for more news and tips.

Today's post is especially fun. The editors are looking for families who give back during the holidays (yes, they know it's July, but magazine editors have to think far ahead), whether it's making a cookie plate for your local nursing home or making and decorating your own canned goods for a homeless shelter.

If you've done a project (big or small; simple is fine) with your kids to help those in need during the holidays, head over to GoodyBlog and share your idea in the comments section. Your idea and story could be featured in Parents this holiday season!

Let's Talk About (Awful!) Manners

I'll be chatting live with my favorite radio folks, Rob and Joss, on Froggy 92.9 in Sonoma County, California tomorrow at 9 a.m. PST.

Love these guys! I've been on the air with them twice before, and they are so much fun. Now if I could just convince them to move the station to Southern California... (Waddya think, Rob and Joss?)

To listen online, just go to froggy929.com. (You'll need to download a free plug-in.) To get a sneak peek at what we'll be talking about, click here.

Also, I'll be posting our chat as a podcast right here.

(NOTE 5:30 P.M. WEDNESDAY: JUST FOUND OUT THAT THEY WILL BE RECORDING THE SPOT FOR A LATER BROADCAST. SO I'LL LET YOU KNOW WHEN THE PODCAST IS UP. THANKS FOR THE ENCOURAGING E-MAILS, EVERYONE!)

Women Helping Women (of Any Age) at BlogHer

I've been reading lots of blog posts and comments about last weekend's BlogHer conference, and it seems as if some of the women over age 40 are feeling a bit left out by the younger crowd as these 20-something women Twitter, text message and basically (at least it's perceived that way) run digital circles around the middle-aged blogging community.

Well, I have to tell you, I don't see it that way. I'm not 20-something. I'm not 30-something. But I met some of the most fabulous younger women at BlogHer, and they didn't intimidate me. They inspired me. I learned so much, and even jumped on the Twitter bandwagon at their urging. (You can follow me at http://twitter.com/kathysena.) I'm now checking out dozens of tips I learned from these generous women, either from panels where they spoke or from across the table at lunch, over a martini in the evening or in e-mails since we returned home.

Mastering this digital-communication thing doesn't have anything to do with age. It's about being open to trying something new, being willing to learn from someone who may have been in preschool when I was in high school. I'm waking up this week raring to go. I'm thinking of ways to improve this blog even as I take a shower or load the dishwasher. Forget juicy novels. My bedtime reading, thanks to BlogHer, is all about search-engine optimization at the moment.

Thanks to all you women, of any age, who sent me home from San Francisco full of enthusiasm for being a writer and a blogger, as well as a mom. I'm honored — and jazzed — to be one of you.

P.S. This wonderful piece of embroidery art is featured over at a terrific site that I just discovered, Layers of Meaning. The site was created by Serena Fenton, and it's beautiful. Check it out.

I'm Lovin' BlogHer '08

Just got back yesterday from BlogHer 08, a most amazing weekend in San Francisco with 1,100 women bloggers. Mommy bloggers, travel bloggers, food bloggers... It made my socks go up and down to be in one place with all this talent and energy.

The free t-shirts and chocolate weren't bad either. My favorite t-shirt slogan (from CafePress): "Be Nice to Me Or I'll Blog About You." (OK, twist my arm: Here's where you can get Parent Talk Today merch from CafePress.)

All you mom bloggers out there: If you haven't already checked out BlogHer, head on over there and sign up. It's a terrific community of talented — and really fun — bloggers.

Oh, and I won an iPod nano, from the nice folks at care.com, by finding the person whose number on a button matched the number on my button. Out of 1,100 women, that's pretty amazing! Here I am with my new buddy, Arielle, and our iPods. (OK, my arm got cut off. But I'm holding it. Really!)

Do we look as happy as a couple of kids on Christmas morning or what?

   

Ticketmaster Ticks Me Off

I went to Ticketmaster today at EXACTLY 10 a.m. Pacific time, when tickets for the Who were to go on sale to the public. Clicked on "three tickets, any seats" and got NOTHING. No tickets available — three seconds after they went on sale!

But guess what? Ticketmaster was happy to direct me to ticketsnow.com, which they partner with, so that I could buy nosebleed seats for twice the face value.

The ticket-buying system in this country absolutely sucks. If you have bucks to burn, you can always go to a reseller and get anything you want. But if your concert or sporting-event budget isn't limitless (and I'm guessing that accounts for most of us), you're left out in the cold.

Our son, Matt, is 12 and LOVES the Who. Wears a Who t-shirt all the time, plays the "Tommy" CD over and over in his room — the whole bit. Randy and I thought it would be great to take him to a concert before Pete and Roger decided to hang it up for good. But I'm not sure how much $$$ we're willing to fork over to this system that simply robs the average consumer.

Have you found a better way to buy tickets?