Stumble It!
How Many Balls Are You Juggling?
Edward M. Hallowell, M.D., author of Crazy Busy: Overstretched, Overbooked and About to Snap!, tells a wonderful story, over on his website, Crazy Busy Life, that every parent can appreciate:
"I once interviewed a professional juggler. He told me the greatest number of balls he could juggle was six. The greatest anyone had ever juggled, as far as he knew, was eleven... I asked him if he was working to get to seven balls. He told me he was not because in order to get to seven he would have to give up several hours a day for at least six months, and he didn't have time to spare to do that. 'I'm very good,' he told me. 'I put on a great show with six. No one has ever come up to me and told me they wish I had done seven. I can work many variations with six and make people's jaws drop. Six is enough. I don't need more.'
Hallowell then asks us to consider: "Are you juggling more balls than you NEED to juggle? What do you give up if you are?"
That's a tough one. I love my family. I love my job. I love volunteering at my church and my son's school. What tends to get lost in the shuffle are things like exercise, getting my hair trimmed, shaving my legs — you know, basic physical maintenance. Not good!
So this week I plan to visit the dentist, shave those hairy legs, and get on the treadmill (an actual treadmill, not the treadmill that is sometimes my life!) for some cardio work. (Maybe I'll work out during American Idol tonight. And if Jason Castro wins this thing in a few weeks, it will only be because every 11-year-old girl in America voted for him because of his eyes! My pick? David Cook.)
Hi Kathy,
I've been skulking around, reading your blog for awhile now (and I love it!), but this one really hit home, since I've actually been thinking about exactly this topic all day. Along the lines of, "Why are there 15 things flagged for follow-up in my inbox?", "Where is that email about that one thing...?", "What did I do with that stupid post-it note?", and most frighteningly, "Whose number did I just dial, and what am I asking them, again?"
Juggling all the balls that make up our lives - work, home, social, etc. - is always difficult, especially now, when we're all so driven to be uber-involved in absolutely everything. What makes it even more difficult is when the balls that you're juggling - the number, and the speed at which you have to juggle - in one specific area aren't necessarily your choice. How do you say 'no' to another project from your boss? How many dates can you cancel to finish up "just one more thing" at work before your significant other decides you've fallen off the face of the planet? I think balls like those, that we feel we have less of a choice about, are some of the most difficult to deal with - but may make for some interesting conversation!
Jessi Pinneo (say "Hi" to Matt and Randy for me!)
Posted by: Jessi Pinneo | May 06, 2008 at 12:35 PM
Jessi, thanks for your excellent comment! Yep, it's the many balls that are handed to us by bosses, etc. that are the toughest to juggle sometimes, because we haven't taken them on voluntarily.
Just being aware that you ARE juggling furiously on some days can make a difference, I think. Sometimes, I just want to take one ball and float it on a pond!
Posted by: Kathy Sena | May 06, 2008 at 12:43 PM
Kathy,
What a timely post. I had to let go of a commitment only yesterday as I finally admitted to myself that I am not superwoman (surprise!). I'm not one to play the "working mom" vs "stay at home" mom game ... I've been both ... but now that I'm working full time again, all those ball up in the air seem to be moving so much faster!
I received some good advice from a mentor at work who told me, "Sadly, there's not enough of you to give your best to everything you want to do. You have to pick your battles. What do you want to give your best to this week? This month? This year?" Food for thought!
Posted by: Jennifer | May 06, 2008 at 12:52 PM
Hey Kathy:
I'm visiting for the first time and now I have blog envy. Very well done.
I also relate to this post. I too am guilty of having too many balls in the air. However, I'd like to think that I'm learning how to scale back, if only a little. I've said no to a couple volunteer opportunities lately, and now that I'm working again full time, I try not to over schedule weekends so the whole family can enjoy some down time together. I've got 3 kids and I definitely notice a difference in what I schedule for the youngest compared with the older two.
Michelle Rafter
Posted by: Michelle Rafter | May 06, 2008 at 12:55 PM
Michelle, thanks for your comment. Saying no to some volunteer activities is something we can all do. Baby steps! Interesting to see that you've scaled back a bit on your youngest child's schedule after seeing how it has gone with the older kids. Hey, we all live and learn!
Posted by: Kathy Sena | May 06, 2008 at 01:14 PM
Jennifer, this is incredibly good food for thought! What we choose to give our best to CAN change from week to week, or day to day. I plan to look at things a bit more that way this week. My priorities can be fluid. Last night, for example, my priority was snuggling on the couch with my son and watching "Back to You" on TiVo! Couldn't think of anywhere I'd rather be.
Posted by: Kathy Sena | May 06, 2008 at 01:17 PM
Someone sent me the link to your blog and it couldnt have come at a better time. This was definately "food for thought" for me. I have 2 sets of twins who are all under 3 (one with special needs) and hubby is overseas. Actually for me it is more like wanting to throw those balls at people. I will definately be trying my best to look at priorities.
Ooh, I just started reading, but I loved the other post about the "date" to the hardware store. I will continue to read. You have a new fan!!!
Rebecca
Posted by: Rebecca | May 07, 2008 at 05:54 AM
Wow, Kathy. I haven't stopped by in a while, but your blog looks fabulous. Obviously, I was meant to read this post -- just yesterday, I was complaining to my husband about how I don't seem to be able to manage all the little details in my life as well as I used to (True confession: This little episode was sparked by my forgetting to get a flower for the class bouquet for Teacher Appreciation Day. Ugh.)
He looked at me like I was crazy and said, "Um, maybe it's because you're constantly carting two kids around while trying to write a book that's due in five weeks."
Oh, yeah. That makes sense.
Posted by: Dara Chadwick | May 07, 2008 at 12:32 PM
Rebecca, I am thinking of you and sending good thoughts! Thanks for taking the time to comment -- you are a BUSY mom! I'm so glad you're planning to be a part of this community! We definitely have fun here. Please keep commenting!
Posted by: Kathy Sena | May 07, 2008 at 08:42 PM
Dara, your comment cracked me up. Writing a book and parenting two kids -- oh, and paying a little attention to your hubby now and then! Yep, you're busy. Keep us posted on the book! And tell us more about it.
Posted by: Kathy Sena | May 07, 2008 at 08:44 PM
Kathy, wow, you are singing my song! This upcoming weekend is just one of the many juggle-fests that make up my life, and it's good to know so many others can relate. So what gives when something has to? Unfortunately, currently what's giving is my time to care for myself, but I know it is all temporary and the flow will change again soon. That's what I cling to for sanity. And remembering how BORED I was just a few months ago helps put it all in perspective.
Posted by: Alexandra Owens | May 08, 2008 at 08:37 AM
Yep, I think you sort of have to ride the wave, knowing from experience that you'll have crazy days and more mellow days (at least a few!). Self-care is so important, though. If we make time for that, we have more energy for our family.
I took a 45-minute walk yesterday with two good friends (what a rare treat!) and it made the rest of the day much easier to handle.
Hang in there this week, Alex!
Posted by: Kathy Sena | May 08, 2008 at 08:41 AM