I’m so happy to be able to share a terrific guest post today. Keira, who is 16, is the sibling of one of the 8th graders who was promoted at our local middle school on Tuesday night. This is in response to yesterday’s post on that event. (Let’s just say it prompted an interesting discussion!) I think she has a great perspective — and a heck of a lot of maturity. (I also think if every high school student in our town was as articulate as Keira, our English teachers would we thrilled.) Take it away, Keira…

As a 16-year-old girl who was there at promotion, I must agree with you. It’s disgusting. My year was even worse. I don’t understand how the parents of these girls let them walk out of the house looking like that.

I would never let my own daughter display herself in such an inappropriate fashion, nor would I ever feel okay dressing myself that way. Ever. It doesn’t matter if you’re thin and cute and want to show off, or if you’re not-so-thin and still feel like you need to show it all or fit in or whatever. It’s simply not okay.

The women in my life have shown me how to be modest and that one attracts people with how they dress. Obviously, we should not judge people by how they look. I’m not advocating that at all. I’m just saying that the girls who dress like they want a certain kind of attention will get it.

And for a 14-year-old  girl fresh out of junior high, that’s never good.

Today I’m happy to welcome guest blogger Carol Muse Evans, publisher/editor of Birmingham Parent magazine. I love what she wrote about her relationship with her dad, and I think it’s a great read as we each start thinking about Father’s Day — and our relationship with our own father. Thanks, Carol.

I’m halfway through an interesting book someone in our office building recently recommended.  A Million Miles in a Thousand Years by Donald Miller is described as a writer “editing his life.”  It’s a cool idea – if only we could learn to do it as we go. If only we would do it.

Ironically, as I’m thinking about Father’s Day, and I’m deep in my book, my thoughts keep going back to my dad’s life. My relationship with my late dad was certainly less than ideal. He was a tough man to love, as a child and an adult. While many times I thought he didn’t love me as I was growing up, now that he’s gone, and I  think back on that part of my life, I realize who he really didn’t love was himself. He loved me as best he knew how, but he really didn’t love himself, which made everything else in his life so much harder.

In the book I’m reading, Miller talks about how, as you live your life, you are writing your own “story.” When I read, “People who say life is meaningless usually mean their life is meaningless,” I thought of Daddy.  I think that might be how he felt. I think he thought he wasn’t writing his story, but that it was writing itself, and he had no control. Ultimately, I don’t think Daddy ever could be happy. I don’t think he chose to be happy or to search out happiness in the life he had. He never edited his life into a story he wanted to read.

And it makes me sad for him now. Thought he never earned millions or wrote anything profound, nor played in the NFL or had fame, he had a family that still loved him, warts and all, and a child that always sought his approval, though it could never be attained. He could have written a very different story. It was all in his hands, despite what life dealt him. He was still the writer.

This Father’s Day, dads, reflect on the story you are “writing,” and if it’s the story you want to live. It’s not too late to do some editing, if you need to, and being a great dad will be one of the best story lines you can choose. Showing your child you love him and showing him how to live a great life will be some of the greatest gifts you can ever give on Father’s Day, and every day.  You don’t have to be a celebrity — just his dad.

My buddy Jen Singer over at MommaSaid.net is offering, in this great video, what might be the best gift we moms can receive on Mother’s Day: A reminder to Trust Your Gut. (Another great gift? Jen’s books. I love her Stop Second-Guessing Yourself series.)

Thanks, Jen! Happy Mother’s Day, and thanks for helping us have a laugh.

Thanks to Fred Goodall over at Mocha Dad for inviting me to write a guest post on his “Mocha Dads and Moms” feature. He asks moms to guest post and then he weighs in. Good stuff.

Let’s just say I thought I had witnessed rude behavior by kids on a plane (with inattentive parents who couldn’t have cared less). But Fred’s experience tops mine. Check it out and weigh in!

Last night, musician Jake Walden was nearly killed by a drunk driver whose car jumped the curb just feet from him. Still obviously a bit shaken by the whole experience, Jake sat down to create a simple YouTube video where he talked about the experience.

Please watch this. Then show it to your kids. Drunk driving isn’t a joke. Talk to your kids — today. (And even more important: Set a good example for them with your own choices.)

Thanks to Charlotte Reznick, PhD for sharing a timely and helpful guest post today. Reznick is the author of the L.A. Times bestseller The Power of Your Child’s Imagination: How to Transform Stress and Anxiety into Joy and Success (Perigee/Penguin, 2009). She’s a child educational psychologist and an Associate Clinical Professor of Psychology at UCLA.

The emotional effects of a large-scale crisis or disaster, such as earthquakes, riots, and terrorist events, on children can be tremendous. One of the difficulties experienced by parents is that they have not had adequate time to deal with their own reactions when they are called upon to deal with the impact of the disaster or crisis on their child.

Emotional reactions vary in nature and severity from child to child. Children’s reactions to a disaster are determined by their age, previous experiences, temperament and personality, and the immediacy of the disaster to their own lives. Parents need to be aware that children feel especially helpless when they see horrific images on TV, such as homeless, injured, or orphaned Haitian children following the earthquake. Kids also absorb worry and sadness from their parents, or from classmates who have family ties in Haiti.

Here are some tips for parents to help kids comprehend and deal with such a catastrophe:

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I’m happy to introduce a new guest writer for Parent Talk Today, Amy Wallen. This piece originally ran in The Faster Times and is used with permission. Amy is the bestselling author of MoonPies and Movie Stars and is a frequent contributing book critic for the Los Angeles Times and other national magazines. She is also the founder and comedic host of the popular reading series DimeStories, 3-minute stories…

With families taking so many different forms these days, what we call each other does indeed matter. But that doesn’t make it an easy thing to sort through. I think Amy says it well — and with a light touch. I’d love to hear your thoughts!

Take it away, Amy…

“I sleep with Adam Lambert’s dad,” I have been told by a special someone, is a tacky way to introduce myself.  But I have run out of explanations, and that seems to be the most succinct description, and well, one that shuts everyone up.  But I’m not ready to shut up about it.  I do sleep with Adam’s dad.  I live with Adam’s dad, but apparently there isn’t a word for what I am.  I’m not Adam’s stepmom, nor is he my stepson (stepstar?) because I’m not married to his dad.  But I’m having sex with his dad, and I’m paying a mortgage with his dad.  But, I’m not a wife. So what am I?  What do I call the relationships in this non-traditional household of rockstars, sinners and one fellow who before the 2009 season thought American Idol was a game show?

It was somewhere between the first few horrific audition weeks of scathing remarks from Simon and the last week when one of the American Idol directors grabbed my arm and pulled me out of a camera view of a “family shot” with the explanation, “Amy, I leave my conscience at home for this job,” that I introduced myself with my tacky quip to the mother of  contestant Megan Joy. I was standing with Adam’s dad and mom, Eber and Leila.  For weeks all of Middle America (who apparently not only believe everything Sarah Palin tells them, but also believe that reality TV is reality and not staged at all) had blogged about Eber and Leila.  What a close family they seemed to be, the bloggers said, wasn’t it wonderful that they had stayed married after all these years? (more…)

I’m so excited to share this terrific guest post from Irene S. Levine, Ph.D., author of the just-released Best Friends Forever — Surviving a Breakup With Your Best Friend. Dr. Levine appeared recently on the Today Show to talk about women’s friendships.

On The Friendship Blog, she explores the nature, meaning and depth of female friendships. In reading this Q&A guest post, I felt a bit like I was back in junior high. Does any of this sound familiar? (more…)

I’m so jazzed to welcome Judy Molland as a guest blogger today. She’s the author of Get Out! 150 Easy Ways for Kids and Grown-Ups to Get Into Nature and Build a Greener Future and Straight Talk About Schools Today. Take it away, Judy!

One of my pet peeves is witnessing bad parenting. A couple of weeks ago, on a beautiful fall day, I was hiking down Lembert Dome in Yosemite National Park with my husband. Actually, it wasn’t just beautiful, it was perfect: bright blue sky, just a few clouds, gorgeous orange and russet leaves on the trees, a crisp chill in the air.

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Welcome, Jen Singer, who is guest posting today!
Jen is the creator of MommaSaid.net and the author of MommaSaid.net presents: Stop Second Guessing Yourself – The Preschool Years (HCI, September 2009). She offers up three things nobody tells you about parenting preschoolers — and how to deal with them…

If you’re just coming out of the exhausting, filled-with-major-milestones toddler years, you may wonder what lies ahead. Preschoolers are like tiny teens in light-up sneakers: increasingly independent and yet in dire need of your supervision and guidance as they spend less and less time with you. A few tips:

1. Their milestones are far more nebulous. Your toddler hit the Grand Slams of Milestones: walking, talking, potty training. But your preschooler’s milestones are a little less concrete. As you parent your three-to-five-year-old, you’ll come to learn about fine and gross motor skills, socialization and kindergarten readiness, among others. They’re a wishy-washy bunch of milestones, but you can learn to deal with them as your child gets ready for preschool and beyond.

What to do. One of the most-important milestones is getting your child get ready for school. Picture a preschool teacher trying to help 20 three-year-olds on with their coats, and you’ll see why these teaching your child these basics are as important as going over counting and colors. The school-readiness three:
a. Teach him to put on his own coat.
b. Teach her how to share with playdates, playgroups and have lots of patience.
c. Teach her how to sit still (or at least more still than usual) with floor time and bedtime reading.

2. Discipline becomes more difficult as your preschooler becomes more verbal.
You’ve decided that your preschooler should wear her pink dress on the first day of school, but she has different plans – and she tells you so. Before you know it, you feel like you’re in mediation with a very skilled lawyer who has compiled compelling reasons why her Cinderella Halloween costume would be more suitable garb for the occasion.

What to do: Step up the sophistication of your discipline plan as your three-to-five-year-old gets more and more savvy. Preschoolers have great verbal skills and a frighteningly proficient ability to push your buttons. The Time-Outs that worked for your toddler need to be amped up now. Here’s how:
a. Choose which behaviors are misdemeanors and which are felonies beforehand, so you know what to correct as they come.
b. Be as emotionless as possible when you dole out consequences, because preschoolers love to get your goat.
c. Don’t set up a Time-Out in a fun spot, like the middle of the playroom.
d. A Time-Out should equal one minute for each year of age.
e. Revisit the infraction after the Time-Out ends by talking about it.
f. Stick to your guns. If you skip a Time-Out now, your preschooler will make note of it for later.

3. Preschoolers can be far more independent than we give them credit for.
Your preschooler just got up from the kitchen table, leaving behind his empty plate and cup. You think nothing of it. After all, you’ve been waiting on him since he was born. But now that your child is more dexterous and able to focus better than when he was a toddler, he’s ready to take on more tasks around the house.

What to do: Anybody who actually likes to sing the Barney ‘Clean-Up’ song ought to be put to work. I’m not talking about scrubbing floors while singing songs from ‘Oliver,’ but preschoolers can do a variety of chores – and they may actually enjoy them. Get started by:
a. Making it easy. Stick to simple tasks, like putting toys in the toy box or putting cups in the dishwasher.
b. Giving guidance. Break out tasks with simple steps, such as “Put your doll in the toy box… Good! Now put your socks in the hamper… Good!”
c. Set a deadline. She’ll be more likely to clean her stuff off the coffee table now if you tell her to finish it by the time the egg timer rings.
d. Praise, praise, praise. Who doesn’t want some positive feedback when they help out around the house?